Jet lag in a two-year old is only trumped by jet lag in a one-year old, and if you have jet lag yourself you’re not in for a fun week.
If you trap a mouse, drive it to the next village and release it, make sure you don’t let it go in a car park where the only cover for perspectively miles around is your car, otherwise you’re just substituting your SUV for your size 9 boot.
Tackling an abandoned farmhouse with just a mop and a handheld dustvac is ridiculously optimistic.
If you hoover up a fly it will make a disproportionate amount of noise trying to get out of a plastic garbage sack.
It’s quicker and emotionally far cheaper to drill a new well than it is to dig down to try to find your old one.
The time invested in and the knowledge base you’ve built up on all the little things – what cash machines you can use, how to buy a mobile phone, the metric system, how to use a petrol station – is all totally wasted when you move to a new continent.
Toilets are heavy, and no matter how long since they were last used will still be full of stinky stuff.